This I Believe First Draft
Do Gyun Kim
Howard Tinberg
Eng 11
2/7/2010
This I Believe First Draft
The True love
What is love? Is love something that automatically given by womb of Childs mother? Or is it the moaning of two singing birds? What makes love so strong that even death can’t stop the love? What makes love so powerful that it can even change the world? I believe love is important and greatest thing human can achieve while in earth. Having the capability of love someone or even to receive love, I think it is the greatest gift from the god. I have loved someone so much that until it rips out part of my heart and left me to tears, but even now I still love that person and I learned the true love from that person.
I believe love has strength, the strength that you can outstand thousands of pains and sadness. With love you can postpone the death like if it’s nothing. Love can make hellish place in earth into heaven; Love can give energy that no one else has, even early in the morning you rise with smile and happy feeling. Love has strength, it has strength that people relies on, just take look at all the music and movies in this world, 80% are relate to love. Why are we so depended on love? because love has unexplainable strength, which draws people into it.
I believe love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. I believe love is important than anything else in the world, not even money can beat the love, not even knowledge, not even successful career, without love it’s just empty can making empty hollow sound.
February 16, 2010 at 4:33 PM
Do Gyun Kim
Howard Tinberg
Eng 11
2/7/2010
This I Believe First Draft
The True love
Commentary by Emily Barboza
What is love? In Kevins writing, he expresses that it is one of the most powerful feelings on the earth. He explains the many strengths of love, by using examples such as the mother / child relationship. The assignment asks the writer to express one of his beliefs, and I think that Kevin did a nice job of stating his opinion on love. I enjoyed his analogies such as, his ending statement where he states that “without love, it is like an empty can with a hollow sound.” I think that Kevin met the expectations with his examples of love being both a gift, and a useful and strong tool for outstanding pain and sadness as well. Personally, Kevin has captured the subject well, in stating his belief. I think that the sentence structure needs to be reviewed, use more detail, and bring the piece together with a personal experience. Why do you believe so strongly about this topic, and is there an experience that you could share that makes it ‘real’ to the reader. In summary, I think this is a nice start for the Draft, I look forward to reading the final copy.