Proposal (First Draft)

Do Gyun Kim

Howard Tinberg

Eng 11

3/29/2010

Proposal (First Draft)

Coexistence between smoker and non-smoker

Currently, in the world there are approximately 1.2 billion smokers exist throughout the world. Without any surprise our own BCC community falls under this statistical calculation, that would mean almost half of the BCC or at least fewer than 40 percent are smokers in BCC. Without any sympathy or kindness to the smokers, BCC administrations will be enforcing a new rule that anyone smoking inside the campus area would be subject to fine. This means students have to leave the facility area completely to smoke or another meaning could be not to smoke at all.

Even though, I am not a smoker and I don’t have problem against this new rule, but I found this rule quite unfair to half of the student in BCC. Not that I am unaware of how dangerous smoking is and its effects of smoking to a person, or the chemical effect relate to second hand smokers, but rather than banning the smoking itself from campus ground and making smoking itself sort of illegal activity around campus. I think it would be wiser we find alternative solutions. Obviously, Bcc administration knows this plan in effect will not get a full participation from student and faculty itself. In addition, trying to further enforce the law by giving a fine to students and faculty itself is just pushing more people to veto against this rule.

Therefore, alternative solution must be given to this problem. As I mean alternative solution, wouldn’t be just better to create smoking zone, instead of getting thousands of complain from smokers? As, students I think most of the students are aware that second hand smoke is a proven silent killer. They will respect the Bcc administration if they actually give coordinating smoking zone throughout each building. In the Japan, a country that has high density of people throughout city, they actually have a smoking zone throughout work area or though out the building structure where the smoking room is ventilated through top of the building for smokers. So they do not have to go outside on cold or rainy day for smoking. This smoking zone can be made throughout the campus area. In addition, enforcing the law to not to smoke on any other area rather the than smoking zone in campus will be more effective rather than banning it completely.

As far as I am concern about cost of creating smoking zone throughout facility, it wouldn’t be that much. Since our campus have so much open area at each and every building. All the administration has to do is create zone around every building with bench and chairs and something to cover on top, so they could smoke even if it rains or snows.

Nevertheless, I think this plan is far superior then banning smoking completely through campus, it is just unrealistic and given non-connivance to smokers at all. I think it is just rude and disrespectable to students who are smokers. As students we understand change have to be made, but until better solution has given, I think this is quite affordable solution until the main sources of problem has been closed down. What I mean by the source is the cigarette company that provides thousands and billions of cigarettes every day.

Read Users' Comments (2)

2 Response to "Proposal (First Draft)"

  1. Kevin says:
    March 29, 2010 at 10:04 PM

    # How do you feel about the paper so far? Please explain and offer evidence from the work.

    Now, I felt much easier to write fluently then when I start writing in the beginning of this semester. Although, I am still not grammatically correct nor has correct rephrase for my sentence, but I think I have become much better writer than previously when I struggle for each sentence, trying to figure out what to write. Overall I think I still need more revising in my essay.
    # What remains to be done? Please be precise.

    I needed to state my sources, of where I got the percentage from, also overall improvement for my grammatical problems.

    # What questions do you have for readers about the piece?

    Did you get persuade by my essay? Do you think my plan is superior than BCC’s administrators plan?

  2. emily b says:
    April 4, 2010 at 5:57 PM

    Peer Review
    By Emily Barboza
    April 4, 2010
    Review of Kevins 1st Draft Proposal
    The assignment is asking Kevin to create a proposal essay addressing an audience. His topic compared the existence of smokers and non smokers.
    In this assighment, Kevin did well to fully explain smoking issues at BCC. I think a paragraph that worked well was the paragraph which discussed solutions. His idea to make smoking zones. I hope he will succeed.
    I think that the paper in general, is well written and has good facts. I think that if he is going to add facts, he needs to give credit to the source.
    I think that the paper in general, is well written and has good facts. I think that if he is going to add facts, he needs to give credit to the source.
    Kevin, What is your opinion about the cost? and What do you think will happen in the future at BCC?

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